In a world where distractions are ever-present and self-aggrandisement is mistaken as confidence, there comes a time in everyone’s life during which one asks oneself either of these three questions: “Am I fulfilling my life purpose?” “Is there something more I should be doing to draw closer to God?” “Based on what I’m doing now, is God pleased with me?”
The way in which I personally digested these three questions was to seek the counsel of my spiritual director who, among many things, directed me to this wise statement by Saint John Chrysostom: "In order to get to God, man must go within himself."
This quote rings true to me not only as applicable for discerning God’s will in my life, but also recollecting my senses to unite with Him amidst the cares of my day-to-day life.
Where has my spiritual director's counsel taken me from here, you may ask? From ten years of professional work in digital marketing and communications to the grace-filled religious life experience as a Discalced Carmelite nun.
Since my departure from the cloistered monastic life which I describe as two years of heaven lived on earth, I have sought Catholic liturgies that were reminiscent of the environment in which I lived and incorporated notable saints in Carmelite tradition.
While in Carmel, I developed a strong devotion to Saint Elias, or the Prophet Elijah, as Sacred Scripture (1 Kgs. 18) refers to him, and deepened my love for the Blessed Virgin Mary, whom I now fondly call the Theotokos, or God-bearer.
Armed with this great love for the saint who dwelled on Mount Carmel, Israel, and the Mother of Our Savior who was Middle Eastern by origin, I began to find my way liturgically eastward.
In this pursuit, I saw the benefit of breathing with both lungs. By this I mean experiencing the fullness of our Catholic tradition, not only from that which originated in Rome, but others which began in ancient cities such as Antioch. Thus I came to get to know the Melkite Greek Catholic Church.
Antioch holds a noteworthy place in Melkite Church history as St. Paul’s scriptural mention in Acts 11:26 states that the first followers of Our Lord came from Antioch, and it was there that they were first called Christians.
What drew me in and how did my life in Carmel prepare me for it? It’s quite simple. An unbroken link of tradition. And much more that I shall elaborate on in three dimensions: the beauty of nothing, the sound of the Psalms, and the reverence of all.
<strong>1.The beauty of nothing</strong>. Through my two years of discernment in a Discalced Carmelite monastery, I quickly adjusted to the austerities unique to the way of life. Most notably, a traditional Carmelite monastery is stripped of sensible representations of Our Lord’s Presence, such as Eucharistic Adoration with the host exposed in a monstrance. This physical “absence” of Our Lord among us pivoted our focus to go <em>within </em>to find Him.
Similarly, in the Melkite Greek Catholic Church, Eucharistic Adoration is not in the tradition of Eastern Catholic Churches. Part of the reason is the fact that, throughout Church history, devotions have sprung up in response to particular challenges it faced in set periods of time. For instance, for Eastern Catholics, during the 8th and 9th centuries, went through an iconoclasm era in which sacred images were destroyed or blasphemed.
Thus, in response to this tragedy, Melkites and other Eastern Catholic churches reinforced due reverence to sacred images. Due to the fact that Western/Roman Catholics were not uniquely persecuted in this way, icons are not characteristic of Roman Catholic sacred art.
In this same vein, the Roman Catholic church, during the Middle Ages, endured periods of unbelief in the Real Presence of Our Lord in the Eucharist. Such phenomena unfortunately persist to this date; hence why we have initiatives such as the imminent National Eucharistic Revival.
With this challenge in sight, it makes perfect sense that theological greats such as Saint Thomas Aquinas have created the most beautiful hymns such as "Adoro Te Devote" and "Pange Lingua" to commemorate Our Lord’s Presence in the Holy Eucharist. Life in Carmel prepared me for this beautiful "nothingness" in Melkite liturgical prayer, and brought me to a greater appreciation for the contemplative roots I could extract mystical nectar from.
<strong>2.The sound of the Psalms</strong>. Saint Athanasios the Great says the following about praying the Psalms: "And herein is yet another strange thing about the Psalms. In the other books of Scripture, we read or hear the words of holy men as belonging to those who spoke them.”
The saint continues, “With this book, however, though one does read the prophecies about the Savior in that way, with reverence and with awe, in the case of all the other Psalms, it is as though it were one's own words that one reads; and anyone who hears them is moved at heart, as though they voiced for him his deepest thoughts."
These words are representative of my life in Carmel, which was punctuated by the recitation of the Divine Office in Latin seven times a day. Chanting it was life-giving for me and, given the fact that I intentionally studied ecclesiastical Latin for eight months before my entry to the monastery, I had a heightened appreciation for these poetic words of Sacred Scripture.
In the Melkite Greek Catholic Church, all of the liturgical services, from Divine Liturgy to Orthros (morning prayer or Matins and Lauds fused together), from Akathist to Paraklesis (liturgical services during Lent and Advent in honour of the Mother of God), all of them are steeped in Psalmody. Psalms 50/51 are used in every Liturgy and Psalms are always sung, not merely recited. As Saint Augustine remarked: "He who sings prays twice."
Thus, upon my initial visits to the Melkite Greek Catholic Church, even though I originally chanted the psalms in Latin while in Carmel, my breviary providentially had English translations on the other half of the page. So merely hearing the first phase of a psalm would refresh my memory to join along with the congregation in singing the Lord’s praises.
<strong>3.The reverence of all.</strong> Superiors, Clothing, Food, the list goes on. During a large portion of my time in the Carmelite monastery, I served as the community’s cook and provisor. One of the most memorable lessons I learned while in the former office was that of, as my Novice Mistress termed it, "treating the food with reverence". This relates to the preparation, cooking, leftover storage, and cleanup of all edible arrangements that I served my sisters in holy religion. I learned to do all actions and handle all objects as if Our Lord Himself were in that object or task.
In this same accord, in the Melkite Greek Catholic Church, I noticed a most memorable expression of reverence for authority figures and physical objects related to their office. For instance, at the conclusion of every liturgical celebration, congregants proceed forward to receive a paternal blessing from the officiating priest and kiss the back of his hands. Additionally, after going for confession and receiving the absolution, the penitent kisses the back of the hands of the priest and the stole he has on.
Along with this reverence is the kissing of icons to show veneration and profound bows - known as a metany - which include crossing oneself thrice before sacred icons and upon entering and departing the Melkite parish.
Conversely, in Carmel, before retiring for the night, all of us religious sisters would line up in descending order of seniority and receive a blessing from our Mother Prioress. After the novitiate went in procession to their cells reciting Psalm 50 in Latin, we would similarly line up at the entrance of our respective cells to receive a blessing from our Novice Mistress and kiss her scapular.
For Melkites, it is not merely the priest’s hands you kiss, it is Christ’s whom the priest represents.
The same applies in Carmel. Kissing the Brown Scapular of the Mother Prioress is showing reverence to her office and to Our Lady whom Carmel is named after.
The key, in all of this, is having an equal reverence for all created things, liturgy inclusive. I have encountered individuals who, with a stark taste for the Roman Catholic mode of worship, have scoffed upon entry into an Eastern Catholic church, or, worse, have upbraided clergymen within it for "failing" to display statues of their favourite 19th-century saints or admonished them for not listing set hours for Eucharistic adoration in their Melkite parish bulletin. The same is true in Roman Catholic parishes which, unbeknownst to the pastors, have welcomed what appeared to be new parishioners who, in point of fact, belittled the parish’s beloved Tridentine Rite Mass.
What rings true are St. Paul’s words to us in Gal. 3-28: “There are neither Jew nor Greek…...for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
His related mention in 1 Cor. 12 further drills this point in: “We were all given to drink of one Spirit. Now the body is not one part, but many.” This is precisely right: the Catholic Church is not solely represented by the Roman Catholic Church, but by 24 Catholic Churches in total, of which the Roman Catholic Church and Melkite Greek Catholic Church are brethren and in which any practicing Catholic can fulfil their Sunday obligation by attending a liturgical service.
In a nutshell, my life as a Discalced Carmelite paved the way for me to relish in the physical nothingness as a sign of God's unseen yet palpable dwelling within my soul. I need neither statues of the saints nor Stations of the Cross to contemplate the grandeur of our heavenly friends and the last 14 events of Our Blessed Saviour's life.
What matters most is what has eternal lasting power: God's grace in my soul and my cooperation with it in and out of the liturgical season.
I bless the Name of the Lord for all the life chapters He has willed me to traverse in my life. Heaven on earth has not ceased for me as it continues in the depth of my soul. Walking hand-in-hand with Our Lord under Our Lady's mantle has providentially led me from being a Carmelite to something even more effervescent: a CarMelkite!
<em>(Discalced Carmelites nuns make hosts | Photo by NORBERTO DUARTE/AFP via Getty Images)</em>
